Gods of Egypt has been a much-belabored film like Exodus: Gods and Kings, and like Exodus, expect it to fail big time. 

There are three reasons you can expect failure:

• Whitewashing: Egypt is in Africa, therefore, it would behoove Hollywood to cast actual brown people in the film. Chadwick Boseman, the only person of African descent in the main cast, was cast after there was a huge outcry. The lack of care taking in even hiring Boseman—only hiring him after public unrest—shows how much the film doesn’t care about at least being in the ballpark of accuracy. Also, to the other person of color along with Boseman, Elodie Yung, who is of Asian descent, is cast as Hathor, the goddess of love. But this casting also has a haze of Asian exoticism with it. Asian women are routinely stereotyped as submissive sex objects, and while it’s still not clear how submissive or authoritative Hathor will be in the film, Hathor clearly looks like she’s being set up to be a big sexual stereotype.

The almost all-white casting of Gods of Egypt also smacks of Hollywood’s idea that fantasy automatically should go to white actors, when everyone should be represented in fantasy films. I’ve addressed this in this post, if you’d like to learn more about why fantasy should be an equal-equity operation, not yet another way to support white supremacist ideology in entertainment.

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• Goofy story: On the surface, a quest to get back a god’s eyes should be cool. But the way it plays out in the trailer just looks like a mess. English accents? What for? What already looks to be terrible characterization? Why bother caring about the hero’s journey of getting the special items if the characters are one-dimensional?

• Goofier special effects: I feel like the film wants to evoke a Ray Harryhausen feel, but you really can’t do that with bad CG. Everything’s so shiny and, strangely ugly looking that I don’t know how anyone can even enjoy themselves in the theater. These are the types of graphics that make me sick to the stomach to look at, and I’m not being too hyperbolic. When there’s too much glitz and shininess combined with tons of movement (like I know there’s going to be in this type of film), then I start getting headaches and just want to lie down. Sensory overload. Overall, the film feels like it was cheaply put together and like no one really cared about the film after bad press and unfulfilled expectations.

In short, you already know this is going to be a joke, but just in case you want to see the trailer and posters, they’re right here.

Here’s the official synopsis of the film, and write what you think about it in the comments section below.

GODS OF EGYPT
In Theaters February 26, 2016

n this spectacular action-adventure inspired by the classic mythology of Egypt, the survival of mankind hangs in the balance as an unexpected mortal hero Bek [Brenton Thwaites] undertakes a thrilling journey to save the world and rescue his true love. In order to succeed, he must enlist the help of the powerful god Horus [Nikolaj Coster-Waldau] in an unlikely alliance against Set [Gerard Butler], the merciless god of darkness, who has usurped Egypt’s throne, plunging the once peaceful and prosperous empire into chaos and conflict. As their breathtaking battle against Set and his henchmen takes them into the afterlife and across the heavens, both god and mortal must pass tests of courage and sacrifice if they hope to prevail in the epic final confrontation.

Cast: Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Brenton Thwaites, Chadwick Boseman, Elodie Yung, Courtney Eaton, with Gerard Butler and Geoffrey Rush
Directed By: Alex Proyas
Written By: Matt Sazama & Burk Sharpless
Produced By: Basil Iwanyk, p.g.a.; Alex Proyas, p.g.a.
Release Date: February 26, 2016